LIFESTYLE: Why I took an Instagram/Blog Break
I know I haven't posted in like a week or two, but ya girl needed a break. I think sometimes society tells us we have to have it all together all the time and if we don't, we're a failure. And you know what?! I'm so over that way of thinking. Repeat it with me: IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY 24/7. I struggled with this for a long time and I still do sometimes. I didn't want people to see me vulnerable. I wanted people to believe I didn't have emotions and that I was fine 24/7. I mean, that is what we're taught, right? I was diagnosed at a young age with depression and anxiety (no, I'm not nor have I ever been suicidal. calm your tits people.) and for the longest, I was sooo embarrassed of this. I didn't want anyone to know I had to take anxiety medicine. I mean no, it's nothing I'm like super proud to say I have, but I'm learning that it's not my fault. It's literally a chemical imbalance in my brain. There are days when it doesn't affect me and there days or weeks (like this week) that I have a hard time getting motivated and being productive.
I think there's a stigma on mental illness. Which is weird. I mean we're in 2018 and people are eating tide pods. I mean, get it together people. There's a stigma that if you're diagnosed with a mental illness, like depression or anxiety, that it's your fault. I've had people tell me, "oh you're fine. just get over it. quit being lazy. just smile a little and you'll be fine." And I'm here to say, those comments are a bunch of bull.
So why am I sharing this with y'all? As someone who does suffer from mental illness (aka depression and anxiety), I want to let other women who suffer too know, that IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY 24/7. When your depression or anxiety is kicking your butt, take a break. Watch some Netflix, eat your favorite snack, or go for a walk. It's okay to take a day for yourself, but don't get too attached to your bed. Get out and socialize with people, do some activities. I've noticed that when I'm alone to much, is when I get depressed and anxious.
So, there's 3 reasons for why I've been MIA on Instagram and the blog this week. 1. I've been focusing on Shop Becca, 2. so over stupid people, and 3. I've just been in a funk.
Last Sunday, I planned and styled a photoshoot with a girl who's local to the town I live in. It was a Galentine's Day shoot for Shop Becca. She was supposed to have everything handled and I, along with the models, just show up with the clothes. We got there, and NOTHING was done and she kept disappearing. So, I had to throw a shoot together in less than an hour. I was so embarrassed because this is not how I operate at all. I mean I know I'm a last minute person, but that was just taking it to a whole other level. It turned out fab by the way, but long story short, she started going all nuts on me and wouldn't give me the pictures. So for one, I was stressed about how the shoot would go and then it ended up not working out. So, I was just physically and emotionally drained after that.
I was also just in a weird funk. Like I wasn't feeling motivated to get any blog posts done or even post on Instagram. These funks have happened before, so instead of just writing crap and calling it a blog post, I decided to take a week-long break to clear my head. Yesterday, after my classes, I suddenly became very motivated again, so YAY. I planned out all of February's blog posts and there are tons of style, beauty, and personal content, since y'all seem to like that.
Oh and PS: I know I said I would be doing a YouTube video every week, but when I tried to film last, my tripod broke. So, I'm going to see if my dad can fix it this week.